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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

President is ready to declare war on "Nukehavistan"


(WASHINGTON, DC) — From a report released Monday by President Trump,  he suggests that he believes there is his usual good reason to think that the former Soviet republic of Nukehavistan may be manufacturing nuclear weapons.

Nukehavistan
Location President Trump thinks Nukehavistan is

"New intelligence indicates that the likelihood of Nukehavistan possessing nuclear weapons is moderate to strong," said Trump in a slew of secure Twitter tweets.

His Orangeness cited several factors that aroused his suspicion, including the recent ratification of the Nukehavistan Nuclear Pro-Proliferation Treaty, the hawk clutching several nuclear weapons in the Nukehavistani government seal, and the July release of the commemorative "Great Nuclear Weapons Of Nukehavistan" stamp series. (All of which he received from pre-election talks with Russia.

While everyone else in the world finds no evidence of Nukehavistani nuclear capability or activity, or any country called Nukehavistan, President Trump stated emphatically, "I am ready to pre-emptively pre-nuke Nukehavistan. If that's the only way this country will listen."

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