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Saturday, October 21, 2017

Riddle Me This!

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you solve the riddle?


Riddle me this! -Answer. Click here

Click above for the answer.

Elmer Fudd Reads Porn....

Elmer Fudd Reads Porn.... Click here

Click above to watch the video

Please let me know, by email, if the link doesn't work - by clicking on the picture of The Wizard of OZ at the top of my blog... Thanks!

The Force

Jedi Knight

Sometimes when I am sitting in my car at a stoplight, I imagine myself as a Jedi Knight.

I close my eyes and concentrate on the Force.

Sometimes, I have to concentrate longer than others, but I know it works.

The light turns green, doesn’t it?

Mama

It's been 4 years Mama

It's been twelve years, Mama
It still doesn't feel real
Sometimes I think of you
and want to just pick up the phone
to say hello..

Mama thank you for who I am
Thank you for all the things I'm not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
For the times
I forgot

Mama remember all my life
You showed me love,You sacrificed
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed
along the way

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
I miss you, I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused
And I've been wrong
Dry your eyes

Mama I hope this makes you smile
I hope you're happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed
Along the way
And I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, Mama

*Il Divo, Mama

Friday, October 20, 2017

MAN OF THE HOUSE

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled

'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE.'

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight; and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?

The wife replied, 'The funeral director would be my first guess.'

Where I Live....

Delta Bessborough under The Broadway Bridge - photo credit Jack
The Delta Bessborough from under The Broadway Bridge - Saskatoon

Vancouver in Fog

All this fog makes for some cool photography!
Vancouver in Fog
Vancouver in Fog
Vancouver in Fog
Vancouver in Fog
Vancouver in Fog

Word Puzzles


Click here for the answer

Click here for the answer

If you like these and wamt to see more, make a comment!

Thursday, October 19, 2017

I Believe

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born

A Death Certificate shows that we died

Pictures show that we lived!


Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly....

Believe!

I Believe...
That just because two people argue, It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, It doesn't mean they do love each other.


I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if We understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time To become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with Loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you When you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.


Thank you God for all the wonderful people who help us throughout the journey of life..

No left turns...

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed.

My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.

He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:

"Oh, bull----!" she said. "He hit a horse."
"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines, would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.

But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.
Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.

(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"

"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.
"No left turns," he said
"What?" I asked.
"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.
As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."
"What?" I said again.
"No left turns," he said. "Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."
"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support" No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works." But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."
I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.
"Loses count?" I asked.
"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."
I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.
"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90. She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."
"You're probably right," I said.
"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.
"Because you're 102 years old," I said.
"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.
That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.

He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:
"I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"
An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:
"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."
A short time later, he died.
I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.
I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life, Or because he quit taking left turns. "

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about those who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy,
they just promised it would most likely be worth it.

Fun facts from Infection Control

During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.
Fun facts from Infection Control

In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc)
Fun facts from Infection Control

An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
Fun facts from Infection Control

In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!
Fun facts from Infection Control

Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
Fun facts from Infection Control

Annually you will shake hands with 36 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
Fun facts from Infection Control

In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket.
Fun facts from Infection Control

At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.
Fun facts from Infection Control

Daily you will breathe in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.
Fun facts from Infection Control

SO HAVE A GREAT DAY...

...and wash your damn hands!

CHECK OUT THESE TIRES !

SEE THROUGH TIRES
Radical new tire design by Michelin. The next generation of tires. They had a pair at the Philadelphia car show.

Radical new tire design by Michelin

These tires are made in South Carolina, USA.

Yes, those are 'spoke' like connections to the inner part of the tire from the outside tread 'wrap!' The next picture shows how odd it looks in motion.....


Radical new tire design by Michelin

Makes you wonder how the ride feels doesn't it?

These tires are airless and are scheduled to be out on the market very soon.
The bad news for law enforcement is that spike strips will not work on these.

Radical new tire design by Michelin
Just think of the impact on existing technology:
A. no more air valves...
B. no more air compressors at gas stations...
C. no more repair kits...
D. no more flats...
These are actual pictures taken in the South Carolina plant of Michelin.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

RIP Gordon Downie, Tragically Hip Frontman

Tragically Hip's Gord Downie dead at 53

From CBC.ca

Rock poet who wrote Canadiana-laced lyrics had a commanding stage presence

by By John Mazerolle, CBC News

Gord Downie speaks during a ceremony honouring him at the AFN Special Chiefs assembly in December. Downie died Tuesday after a battle with brain cancer. (THE CANADIAN PRESS)

Gord Downie, the Tragically Hip frontman who united a diverse array of music lovers with his commanding stage presence and Canadiana-laced lyrics, has died.

He was 53.

Downie had an aggressive and incurable form of brain cancer called glioblastoma, which he discovered after a seizure in December 2015.

He died Tuesday night surrounded by his children and family, according to a statement on the band's website.

"Gord knew this day was coming – his response was to spend this precious time as he always had – making music, making memories and expressing deep gratitude to his family and friends for a life well lived, often sealing it with a kiss… on the lips," the statement said.

As the Tragically Hip's lead singer and lyricist, Downie was the face and voice of a band whose discography sold more than eight million copies. (Mike Homer/Live Nation)

Canadians learned of Downie's illness on May 24 last year — the same day the rest of the rock group, Paul Langlois, Rob Baker, Gord Sinclair and Johnny Fay, announced that the Kingston, Ont.-based band would head out on a final summer tour "for Gord, and for all of us."

The final concert, in Kingston on Aug. 20, 2016 was broadcast by CBC.

The 15-show Man Machine Poem tour, especially its final concert, became a cultural event, as Downie's dire prognosis prompted an outpouring of support from people across the country who had the rare opportunity to celebrate a much-loved Canadian before he was gone.

-mmore at CBC.ca

The Clan McDuck - Donald Duck's Family Tree

Click on the tree for a larger version!

You haven't seen anything yet - UNREAL!!


Tenant from Hell!

This is an actual apartment..found in Houston after the evacuation for the hurricane. This is NOT hurricane damage....it was found this way prior to the hurricane. Hard to believe there wasn't a fire with all the cigarettes.

Did this woman ever hear of an ashtray? That's why I want to borrow yours. I just heard about these ashtrays but, never used one. I hear they keep the butts organized...

Tenant from Hell!

Tenant from Hell!

Tenant from Hell!
Tenant from Hell!

All the Febreeze and Clorox in the world...is not going to help this mess!

NOOOOOOOOO not the Computer!!!!

Tenant from Hell!

Tenant from Hell!

Tenant from Hell!

ok..here comes the bad parts......


Tenant
Tenant from Hell!
Tenant from Hell!


She had intentions of cleaning.......probably put it off till tomorrow~

I'm thinkin if those things sittin on the bathroom sink had wings they'd fly away!!

Tenant from Hell!

Tenant from Hell!
Tenant from Hell!
I have come to one conclusion in all of this..... and its that this woman does not like to cook.

(ok..a couple other conclusions also)

Full Deckisms

Signs you're not the sharpest crayon in the boxNot playing with a full deck? Hell, he's not even in the game!

A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.

A brain like a BB in a boxcar.

A couple of bricks short of a hod.

A couple of dilithium crystals short of a warp core.

A couple of knights short of a Crusade.

A couple of togas short of an orgy.

A couple of volts below threshold.

A couplet short of a sonnet.

A day late and a dollar short.

A few beers short of a six-pack.

A few birds shy of a flock.

A few bits short of a byte.

A few bits shy of a word.

A few bricks shy of a load.

A few cans short of a six pack, six short.

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few clues shy of a solution.

A few ears short of a bushel.

A few eggs short of a dozen.

A few feet short of the runway.

A few fish short of a string.

A few guppies short of an aquarium.

A few inches short of a foot / yard.

A few kernels short of an ear.

A few lanes short of a highway.

A few lines short of a program.
You're not playing with a full deck. You're a Jack off
A few links shy of a chain.

A few open splices short of a reel.

A few peas short of a pod / casserole.

A few pickles short of a jar.

A few pixels short of an image.

A few puppies short of a pet shop.

A few rungs short of a ladder.

A few sandwiches / apples / ants short of a picnic.

A few screams short of an orgasm.

A few screws loose.

A few snowballs short of an avalanche.

A few spoons short of a full set.

A few straws shy of a bale.

A few tacos short of a fiesta platter.

A few tiles missing from his Space Shuttle.

A few tomatoes short of a thick sauce.

A few yards short of the hole.

A flower short of an arrangement.

A goose short of a gaggle.

A hamburger / a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.

A handle short of a suitcase.

A hump short of a camel.

A lap behind the field.

A little light in his loafers.

A looney tune.

Feel like an adventure?

Then Click below - but take care.... beware....

Click here for an adventure

Need a Heart? A Brain? More Courage? Then Click Above.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

The Smile!

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A smile confuses an approaching frown.  ~Author Unknown

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.  ~Lee Mildon

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.  ~Phyllis Diller

Smile.  Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends?  Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over.  ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile.  ~Author Unknown

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.  ~W.C. Fields

Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.  ~Jim Beggs

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.  ~Charles Gordy

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.  ~Mark Twain, Following the Equator

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.  ~William Shakespeare, Othello

A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home.  ~Author Unknown

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.  ~Andy Rooney

If you smile at someone, they might smile back.  ~Author Unknown

Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it.  ~Author Unknown

Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.  ~Author Unknown

Everyone smiles in the same language.  ~Author Unknown

If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine.  ~Author Unknown

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.  ~Author Unknown

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.  ~George EliotShe gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket.  ~Raymond Chandler

Smiling is infectious,You can catch it like the flu.

Someone smiled at me today,And I started smiling too.~Author Unknown

A smile appeared upon her face as if she'd taken it directly from her handbag and pinned it there.  ~Loma Chandler

A laugh is a smile that bursts.  ~Mary H. Waldrip

Smile - sunshine is good for your teeth.  ~Author Unknown

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.  ~Author Unknown

If you don't start out the day with a smile, it's not too late to start practicing for tomorrow.  ~Author Unknown

Smiling is my favorite exercise.  ~Author Unknown

Wear a smile - one size fits all.  ~Author Unknown

No matter how grouchy you're feeling,You'll find the smile more or less healing.It grows in a wreath

All around the front teeth -Thus preserving the face from congealing.~Anthony Euwer

Every day you spend without a smile, is a lost day.  ~Author Unknown

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.  ~Mother Teresa

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile.  ~Author Unknown

A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.  ~Washington Irving

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.  ~Charles Reade

A smile is the universal welcome.  ~Max Eastman

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.  ~Author Unknown

You're never fully dressed without a smile.  ~Martin Charnin

A smile can brighten the darkest day.  ~Author Unknown

It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.  ~Author Unknown

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.  ~Janet Lane

All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile.  ~Chris Hart

If you would like to spoil the day for a grouch, give him a smile.  ~Author Unknown

Smile - it increases your face value.  ~Author Unknown

Peace begins with a smile.  ~Mother Teresa

A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.  ~Author Unknown

Most smiles are started by another smile.  ~Author Unknown

A smile is something you can't give away; it always comes back to you.  ~Author Unknown

A smile costs nothing but gives much.  It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give.  It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.  None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it.  Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.  Some people are too tired to give you a smile.  Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.  ~Author Unknown

It takes a lot of work from the face to let out a smile, but just think what good smiling can bring to the most important muscle of the body... the heart.  ~Author Unknown

Are you gong to finish strong?

May Favourite Scene

Warning! Wet Pavement

I wonder how many people know about this.
Hydroplaning explained A 36 year old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled her car. A resident of Kilgore, Texas, she was traveling between Gladewater & Kilgore. It was raining, though not excessively, when her car suddenly began to hydro-plane and literally flew through the air.

She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence! When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened he told her something that every driver should know - NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain.

But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on when your car begins to hydro-plane and your tires lose contact with the pavement, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed making you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred.

The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the driver's seat sun-visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry.

The only person the accident victim found, who knew this (besides the patrolman), was a man who had had a similar accident, totaled his car and sustained severe injuries.

send this post on to at least 15 people and you may just save a life...

Monday, October 16, 2017

Important Medical Warning


Important Medical Warning

Cruise Ship or Nursing Home

Cruise Ship
There will be no nursing home in my future...

Nope... I'm going to live on a Cruise Ship year round! The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations, and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which I estimate at only $10 per day.

2. I will have as many meals a day as I want, as long as I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service. The best part is that they're good meals. None of that cardboard stuff I've seen my old friends eating. Breakfast in bed every day of the week.

Waiter

3. Cruise ships have as many as three or four swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, a casino, movies and shows every night.

4. They often have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips should have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

Ship's Wheel

7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare.

If you fall and break a hip on the cruise ship they will likely upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Nurse

And, the best for last!

10. I get to see Alaska, South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, etc., etc. Don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
Cruise Ship