***Disclaimer***

*****Disclaimer: The Wizard of 'OZ' makes no money at all from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow. 'OZ' is 100 % ad-free*****

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Missing Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9:15 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi,

I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then. So, I was wondering, if you are not too busy, could you make a poster for me. The size has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

Missy

This is the only photo I have of her. She answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. She went missing on Harper Street and add my phone number.

Thanks,

Shan




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9:26 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not halfway up a ladder or tree.

How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there, cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out, "Shannon, where are you?"

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards,

David




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9:37 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

Yeah, OK, thanks.

I know you don't like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1 PM today.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:17 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short.

As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu and coke onto his white Wham "Choose Life" T-shirt, and he punched me.

An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash.

In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants.

I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

Regards,

David


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:24 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Yeah, that's not what I was looking for at all. It looks like a movie. And, how come the photo of Missy is so small?




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:28 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.

Regards,

David




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:33 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

That's just stupid! Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. You seem to think it is funny.

Can you make the photo bigger, fix the text, and do it in colour please.

Thanks.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:46 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water.

I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.

I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.

Regards,

David


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:59 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one! Can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says "Missing Missy" off it.

I just want it to say "Lost".




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:14 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Missy



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:21 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Yeah, can you do the poster or not?

I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you.

Thanks.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:32 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,

I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it.

If I wanted to feed something and clean a litter box, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars.

He still goes on about that sometimes. People need to learn to let go.

I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards,

David


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:47 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

That's not my cat. Where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange! I gave you a photo of my cat.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:58 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says, "I haven't seen your orange cat, but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" You can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards,

David




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:07 PM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:22 PM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:34 PM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didn't say there was a reward. I don't have $2000 dollars! What did you even put that there for? Apart from that, it is perfect. Can you please remove the reward bit.

Thanks,

Shan




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:42 PM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:51 PM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:56 PM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1:03 PM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine! That will have to do.

No comments: