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Saturday, May 30, 2015

The Wizard's Wacky World

Wacky World

From WillandGuy'sStrangeStories

Smoker tried to open plane door

The woman was arrested when the plane landed in Australia A French woman has admitted attempting to open an aeroplane door mid-flight so that she could smoke a cigarette. Strange Story Smoking on plane

Sandrine Helene Sellies, 34, who has a fear of flying, had drunk alcohol and taken sleeping tablets ahead of the flight from Hong Kong to Brisbane. She was seen on the Cathay Pacific plane walking towards a door with an unlit cigarette and a lighter. She then began tampering with the emergency exit until she was stopped by a flight attendant.

Defence lawyer Helen Shilton said her client had no memory of what had happened on the flight on Saturday, and that she had a history of sleepwalking. She pleaded guilty to endangering the safety of an aircraft at Brisbane Magistrates Court and was given a 12-month A$1,000 (£429) good behaviour bond - she will forfeit the money if she commits another offence. The French tourist was at the start of a three-week holiday in Australia with her husband.

As reported by the BBC

Wacky World

Actual Questions Asked of Librarians

Do you have books here?
Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?
Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?
Where in the library can I find a power socket for for my hairdryer?
Do you have that book by Rushdie, 'Satanic Nurses'? [Actual title: 'Satanic Verses']
I am seeking a directory of laws that I can break, so that I would be returned to jail for a couple of years.
Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?

Wacky World

Strange But True Newspaper Stories

From The Atlanta Daily

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cosy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.

Men are so easy....

From The Guardian Newspaper

Concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:

'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'

British News From the Churchdown Parish Magazine

'Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church labelled 'For The Sick' , is for monetary donations only.' Funny Newpaper correction

From The Daily Telegraph

A piece headed 'Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes':

' ... the money will not be going directly into the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a better life. We will be training them for new positions in hotels.'

From The Derby Abbey Community News

'We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce.'

From The Gloucester Citizen

'A caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled, 'Hear Me Moan', the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, 'He got what he deserved.'

--People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.
AJ Liebling

Wacky World

Bizarre Items Left in Hotel Rooms

An international hotel chain has released information about the bizarre items left in hotel rooms. During 2009 this amounted to the value of some £750,000 [approx. $1,200,00USD].

Items included:

- A monk's habit
- £3,000 [$5,000 USD] engagement ring
- A false eye
- An artificial leg
- A blow up sheep
- Several leather whips
- Several expensive leather jackets
- 8 posters of Jonathan Ross [a broadcaster in the UK]
- An inflatable sumo wrestler

Other hotel chains include the following in their 'left behind' lists:

- Mobile phone chargers
- Children's playpen
- Pool and snooker cues
- Keys to a Ferrari
- A portable poker table
- A wedding dress Items left in hotel rooms - False teeth
- A mini fridge filled with pickled asparagus
- A £2000 Rolex watch [approx.$3,000 USD]
- Several false teeth
- A case of cigars

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