French - Je T'aime
Italian - Ti Amo
Chinese - Wo Ai Nin
Saskatchewan - Nice ass, get in the truck
|Toon Town's Pagan Summer Fest.|
|RIP George Jones|
|This is The Wizard's score. (11/ out of 13) Click on it to take it yourself|
|Click above to visit the site and watch the video|
|So long Sidney|
*Thanks, GaryThe soul is the same in all living creatures, although the body of each is different ~ Hippocrates
to make a difference when others won't
to live by choice not chance
to make changes not excuses
to be motivated not manipulated
to be useful not used
to excel not compete
I choose self-esteem not self-pity
I choose to listen to the inner voice
not the random opinion of others
There was a short person down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. So he finally went to his doctor and told him what the problem was.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.
The short person dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left one and told the short person to turn his head and cough--the usual method to check for a hernia.
"Aha!" mumbled the doc, and putting his finger under the right one, he asked the short person to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right sid e then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side. The short person was so scared he was afraid to look, so he stared at the ceiling. But noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told the short person to get dressed and see if they still ached.
The short person was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his groin area was no longer in any pain.
The short person said, "Perfect, Doc, and I didn't even feel it ... What did you do?" The Doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
A man goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Ukrainian sausage." The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Ukrainian?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Wouldya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
"And if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
The clerk says, "Well, I probably wouldn't."
With deep, self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Ukrainian just because I ask for Ukrainian sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Because you're at Home Depot."