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Monday, September 30, 2013

A 1930's Vibrator...


A 1930s vibrator designed to "cure" women of their sexuality is part of a new Science Museum event.

A cure?

The Sinful Things show lifts the lid on old-fashioned attitudes and medical practices regarding sex and bodily functions.

Definitley gets rid of histeria!

The objects - from the London museum's archive - form the centrepiece of an adult-themed discussion and quiz show to be held at its Dana Centre.

It reveals how the vibrator was invented by male doctors to combat what they perceived as "hysteria" in women.

The electric device superseded the previous practice of doctors giving genital massage to female patients. It dramatically reduced the time needed for each treatment and could be operated by the relatively unskilled.

Domestic versions were soon being marketed in women's magazines such as Good Housekeeping, masquerading as muscle relaxant therapy.

The vibrator on show at the Science Museum was one of the later devices used by doctors just before they began to be marketed for home use.

Curator David Rooney said: "It looks more like a hairdryer. At the time this was state-of-the-art. This is what people were using.

"It wasn't shameful at all. Everyone pretty much knew what was going on but because of the way they talked about it, it was all right."

*Ananova

**Note from The Wizard: Makes ya just wanna go back in time, eh?

The right angle

100 Reasons to Celebrate Saskatchewan!

100 Reasons to Celebrate Saskatchewan!


100 Reasons to Celebrate Saskatchewan!

Click above 

Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Guys' Rules**

Round is a shape ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note... These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

**For gay men... they do the opposite of everything above, lol!

10 Tidbits of important information....

1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

2. If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

3. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

4. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

5. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)


(I'm still not over the pig.)


6. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour

(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

7. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.


("Honey, I'm home. What the..?!")


8. The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

9. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

10. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

11. Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

12. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm......)


13. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.



(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


14. Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(okay, so that would be a good thing)

15. A cat's urine glows under a black light.


(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

16. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

( I know some people like that.)

17. Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

18. Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

19. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

Does ANYBODY READ the Titles of my posts?

Follow these guidelines for a great shave

Dexter shaving


Step One
Make sure you've prepped your beard with warm water. Ideally, you'll shave in the shower, but after-shower shaving works nearly as well.

Step Two
Once the moisture has softened your whiskers, massage some lubricant into your beard. Purists insist on a thick-lather cream, but gel provides a more than adequate alternative, and lets you see what you're doing as you shave your sideburns.

Step Three
Now you're ready to shave. Apply light pressure, and shave with the direction of your whiskers to minimize irritation. When you're done, splash cold water on your newly shorn cheeks to close up the pores.

Step Four
After you've patted your face dry, moisturize with an aftershave balm. The moisture soothes your skin and prepares it for the next time you drag a sharp blade across your neck.

--with information from Men's Journal

G.W.O.T.D.**


Rainbow mouth

Bear


In gay culture, a Bear is a large, hairy man who projects an image of rugged masculinity. As a rising subculture in the gay and bisexual male communities, Bears are one of many LGBT communities with events, codes, and a culture-specific identity.


**Gay Word Of The Day

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Southern Charm

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz." Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" "My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady. "Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh my God! What on earth for?" said the first woman.


elderly woman

The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a shit?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?"

Food cravings vs what you actually need

Food cravings vs what you actually need

Dr. Phil’s Personality Test

Instructions: Answer the questions below honestly about yourself and we’ll score the quiz and let you know how others see you. This quiz supposedly came from Dr. Phil, but we have been unable to authenticate it, so take it with a grain of salt.

The Wizard scored 44.

The Lively Center of Attention

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

Click above to do the quiz

"That's So Gay"

Friday, September 27, 2013

Actually Funny Gay Jokes



!Language warning!

Squirrel inspects a Halloween 'head" - terrorizes neighbourhood

squirrel with zombie head

Gates calls Ctrl+Alt+Del command a mistake

ctrl+alt+del
Bill Gates favoured a one-button alternative to Ctrl+Alt+Del

Bill Gates has described the decision to use Ctrl+Alt+Del as the command needed to log on to a PC as a mistake.

Originally designed to trigger a reboot of a PC, it survives in the Windows 8 operating system as the command to access the task manager toolbar and is still used in older versions to log on.

In an interview, the Microsoft co-founder blamed IBM for the shortcut, saying he had favoured a single button.

The keyboard shortcut was invented by IBM engineer David Bradley.

Originally he had favoured Ctrl+Alt+Esc, but he found it was too easy to bump the left side of the keyboard and reboot the computer accidentally so switched to Ctrl+Alt+Del because it was impossible to press with just one hand.

During IBM's 20th anniversary celebrations, he said that while he may have invented it, Bill Gates made it famous.

His involvement in the invention has made him something of a programming hero though- with fans asking him to autograph keyboards at conferences.

Finger strike
The shortcut, also known as the three-finger salute - came to prominence in the early 1990s as a quick fix for the infamous "blue screen of death" on PCs.

But speaking at a fundraising campaign at Harvard University, Mr Gates said he thought that it had been a mistake.

"We could have had a single button, but the guy who did the IBM keyboard design didn't want to give us our single button."

While some loathe the clunky command, others took to news site Reddit to express their fondness for it.

"I feel a single button would be a mistake," said one.

"There's a conscious commitment and in many cases a sense of satisfying sword play in executing the two-handed finger strike of Ctrl-Alt-Del."

The Science of Happiness - An Experiment in Gratitude

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Mountie's Boots

Mountie BootsA woman went into a bar in Newfoundland and saw a Mountie with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. She asked him if was true what they say about men with big feet. The Mountie grinned and said, "Sure is, little lady. Why don't you come over to the barracks and let me prove it to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, "Well, thanks, ma'am. I'm real flattered nobody ever paid me for my services before." Don't be flattered... take the money and buy yourself boots that fit."

You can't go wrong with Mr. Bean!


You can't go wrong with Mr. Bean

Twins Or Nothin'


Old FolksA census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked.

When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins, Sally and Billy, they're thirty-two. And the twins, Seth & Beth, they're twenty-six. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're twenty-four ... "

"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins EVERY time?" The woman answered, " Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin."

Only in Saskatchewan !

Oh fiddle-dee dee... what do YOU see... fiddle-dee-dee?


Sci-Fi meme

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Pea story

Red MarblesBabs Miller was bagging some early potatoes for me. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller and the ragged boy next to me.

"Hello Barry, how are you today?"

"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. Sure look good."

"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?"

"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."

"Good. Anything I can help you with?"

"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."

"Would you like to take some home?"

"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."

"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"

"All I got's my prize marble here."

"Is that right? Let me see it."

"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."

"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?"

"Not zackley, but almost."

"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble."

"Sure will. Thanks, Mr. Miller."

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, "There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all, and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble, or an orange one, perhaps."

I left the stand smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community, and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his viewing that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts, all very professional looking.

They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.

Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Eachleft the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes. Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and mentioned the story she had told me about the marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded" them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt."

"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho "

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles....A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself. An unexpected phone call from an old friend. Green stoplights on your way to work. The fastest line at the grocery store. A good sing-along song on the radio. Your keys right where you left them.

Dealing with negativity

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. Remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.


Complaining womanA woman was at her hairdressers getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're going Qantas," was the reply. "We got a great fare!"

"Qantas?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Qantas' brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodelling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too,were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What did he say?"

He said "Where'd you get that shitty hairdo?"

Thought for the day...

There will always be a reason...

*Thanks Trent (Deerhorn Shamanic Services

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

True story. What you can find in my heart...

Indo Jesus in my heart

"Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began, "I'll open up your heart..."

"You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted .

The surgeon looked up, annoyed "I'll cut your heart open," he continued, to see how much damage has been done ..."

"But when you open up my heart, you'll find Jesus in there," said the boy.


The surgeon looked to the parents, who sat quietly. "When I see how much damage has been done, I'll sew your heart and chest back up, and I'll plan what to do next."


"But you'll find Jesus in my heart. The Bible says He lives there. The hymns all say He lives there. You'll find Him in my heart."


The surgeon had had enough. "I'll tell you what I'll find in your heart. I'll find damaged muscle, low blood supply , and weakened vessels. And I'll find out if I can make you well."

"You'll find Jesus there too. He lives there ."

The surgeon left. He sat in his office, recording his notes from the surgery, "...damaged aorta, damaged pulmonary vein, widespread muscle degeneration. No hope for transplant, no hope for cure.

Therapy: painkillers and bed rest. Prognosis:, here he paused, "death within one year." He stopped the recorder, but there was more to be said.
"Why?" he asked aloud. "Why did You do this? You've put him here; You've put him in this pain; and You've cursed him to an early death. Why?"

The Lord answered and said, "The boy, My lamb, was not meant for your flock for long, for he is a part of My flock , and will forever be.

Here, in My flock, he will feel no pain, and will be comforted as you cannot imagine. His parents will one day join him here, and they will know peace, and My flock will continue to grow."


The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was hotter. "You created that boy , and You created that heart. He'll be dead in months. Why?"


The Lord answered, "The boy, My lamb, shall return to My flock, for he has done his duty: I did not put My lamb with your flock to lose him, but to retrieve another lost lamb."

The surgeon wept.. The surgeon sat beside the boy's bed; the boy's parents sat across from him. The boy awoke and whispered , "Did you cut open my heart?"

"Yes," said the surgeon.

"What did you find?" asked the boy.

"I found Jesus there," said the surgeon .


Author Unknown

"No Problem Quiz"

1. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

2. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how hard would it be for four men to build it in ten hours?

3. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

4. How can a man go eight days without sleep and still be well-rested?

5. How can you easily determine how much dirt there is in an oblong hole three feet deep at one end and two feet deep at the other end, and four feet wide at one end and two feet wide at the other end?


Answers..... No Problem.......Scroll down



"No Problem" Answers:

1. No problem! Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
2. No problem! After all, it is already built, so it takes no time at all.
3. No problem! You will never find an elephant with one hand.
4. No problem! He sleeps at night..
5. No problem! There is no dirt in the hole

Ditch the Google Monster and Go Duck Duck!


Monday, September 23, 2013

Very Punny!


A man tried to phone the King of the Jungle.

All he got was a recorded message saying, "All the lions are busy right now. Please try later."

WOO-HOO!

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

WOO-HOO!

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.

WOO-HOO!
Two tall trees are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. One tree says to the other, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The other says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The tall tree says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

Am What I Am


I am What I am

I am what I am
I am my own special creation
So come take a look
Give me the hook
Or the ovation
It's my world
That I want to have a little pride
My world
And it's not a place I have to hide in
Life's not worth a dam
Till I can say
I am what I am

I am what I am
I don't want praise I don't want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it's noise I think it's pretty
And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle
Why not see things from a different angle
Your life is a sham
Till you can shout out I am what I am


I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am what I am

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am I am I am good
I am I am I am strong
I am I am I am worthy
I am I am I belong


I am I am I am useful
I am I am I am true
I am I am somebody
I am as good as you

Yes I am

*Lyrics by Gloria Gaynor

September Song

two men kissing

When I was a young man chasing the boys

I played me a waiting game
If a guy refused me with wave of his hand
I'd let the old Earth make a couple of whirls
While I plied him with tears in lieu of pearls
And as time came around he came my way
As time came around, he came

When you meet with the young men early in the Spring

You court them in song and rhyme
They answer with words and a little wink
But if you could examine the goods they bring
They have little to offer but the songs they sing
And the plentiful waste of time of day
A plentiful waste of time

Oh, it's a long, long while from May to December

But the days grow short when you reach September
When the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame
One hasn't got time for the waiting game

Oh, the days dwindle down to a precious few

September, November
And these few precious days I'll spend with you
These precious days I'll spend with you


adapted from September Song -- Frank Sinatra

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Are YOU Cool?


Are You Cool Enough For The Joe Cool Club? Click to take the test

Click above to take the test!

That boy Johnny...


Johnny Depp

Inside a toddler's brain


inside a toddler's brain

What the New Job Lingo Really Means

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED": Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
APPLY IN PERSON": If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE": You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.