April 30th -- Also known as Roodmas or May Day
Beltane has long been celebrated with feasts and rituals. Beltane means fire of Bel; Belinos being one name for the Sun God, whose coronation feast we now celebrate. As summer begins, weather becomes warmer, and the plant world blossoms, an exuberant mood prevails. In old Celtic traditions it was a time of unabashed sexuality and promiscuity where marriages of a year and a day could be undertaken but it is rarely observed in that manner in modern times.
In the old Celtic times, young people would spend the entire night in the woods "A-Maying," and then dance around the phallic Maypole the next morning. Older married couples were allowed to remove their wedding rings (and the restrictions they imply) for this one night. May morning is a magickal time for wild water (dew, flowing streams, and springs) which is collected and used to bathe in for beauty, or to drink for health.
The Christian religion had only a poor substitute for the life-affirming Maypole -- namely, the death-affirming cross. Hence, in the Christian calendar, this was celebrated as 'Roodmas'. In Germany, it was the feast of Saint Walpurga, or 'Walpurgisnacht'. An alternative date around May 5 (Old Beltane), when the sun reaches 15 degrees Taurus, is sometimes employed by Covens. (Both 'Lady Day' and 'Ostara' are names incorrectly assigned to this holiday by some modern traditions of Wicca.)
Think of the May pole as a focal point of the old English village rituals. Many people would rise at the first light of dawn to go outdoors and gather flowers and branches to decorate their homes. Women traditionally would braid flowers into their hair. Men and women alike would decorate their bodies. Beltane marks the return of vitality, of passion. Ancient Pagan traditions say that Beltane marks the emergence of the young God into manhood. Stirred by the energies at work in nature, he desires the Goddess. They fall in love, lie among the grasses and blossoms, and unite. The Goddess becomes pregnant of the God. To celebrate, a wedding feast, for the God and Goddess must be prepared. Let Them guide you! Breads and cereals are popular. Try oatmeal cakes or cookies sweetened with a dab of honey. Dairy foods are again appropriate...just make a lovely wedding feast and you are sure to enjoy yourself! An early morning walk through a local park or forest could be fun for everyone. Gather up some plants or flowers to display in your home. Mom and daughter could braid their hair, and weave in a few tender blossoms.
Life and Peace be with You --Cinosam
Sunday, April 30, 2006
April 30th -- Also known as Roodmas or May Day
Smallpox is the second biggest killer of people in many parts of Africa.
The last known case of smallpox occurred in September 1978, when Janet Parker, an English medical photographer, was accidentally infected and died. Two years later, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared smallpox eradicated. Today, the top killers are AIDS, malaria, and war.
Tug of War was an Olympic sport until 1920.
Tug of War was an Olympic sport from 1900 to 1920, when Great Britain was the last team to win the gold medal in the event. Other sports that are no longer in the Games include: Croquet (1900), Cricket (1900), Golf (1900-1904), Jeu de Paume (1908), Motor Boating (1908), Rugby (1900-1924), Polo (1900-1936), and Lacrosse (1900-1948).
A BLOND CALLS 911 ......on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cries. The dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard," he says. "She got in the back seat by mistake."
Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her lady boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. "No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday."
She was soooooooo Blonde:
She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
She thought General Motors was in the army.
She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here,"she put "Sagittarius."
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said,"concentrate."
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
She studied for a blood test.
She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
She sold the car for gas money!
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
She thought that she couldn't use her AM radio in the evening.
She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front
And a Blonde gay guy joke:
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy, coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat and his boots, so he arrests him for Indecent Exposure. As he is locking him up, the Sheriff asks him, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"
The Cowboy says "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road, when this burly construction worker asks me to go out to his motor home with him, and so I did... We go inside and he takes off his t-shirt and asks me to take off my shirt, so I did. Then he takes off his jeans and asks me to take off my pants, so I did. Then he takes off his jock strap and asks me to take off my underwear, so I did. Then he gets on the bed and gets on all fours, looks at me kind of hot and sexy and says, "Now go to town, cowboy...And so here I am."
Blonde men do exist!
The "710" Blonde. Click here.
Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"
The proctologist called...they found your head.
Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"
Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.
Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
If you can read this..I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
Hang up and drive!!
And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See:
Welcome to Canada...now speak English, or French, or Scottish, or Ukrainian, or Hebrew, or German, or Dutch, or.. well... You get the picture...
*Thanks, Auntie 'M'
Childrens toys and gas masks litter a kindergarten classroom in Pripyat, Ukraine. The abandoned town sits just two miles (three kilometers) from the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, which exploded in the predawn hours of April 26, 1986. All 50,000 Pripyat residents were evacuated after the accident, and the town, which was created for Chernobyl employees, has not been repopulated
*National Geographic News
(IDG News Service) (London Bureau) A new kind of malware circulating on the Internet freezes a computer and then asks for a ransom paid through the Western Union Holdings Inc. money transfer service.
A sample of the Trojan horse virus was sent Wednesday to Sophos PLC, a security vendor, said Graham Cluley, senior technology consultant. The malware, which Sophos named Troj/Ransom-A, is one of only a few viruses so far that have asked for a ransom in exchange for releasing control of a computer, Cluley said.
The new Trojan falls into a class of viruses described as "ransomware." The schemes had been seen in Russia, but the first one appeared in English just last month.
"It is a new kind of malware with a particularly nasty payload," Cluley said.
It's unclear how the Trojan is being spread, although Sophos is investigating, Cluley said. Viruses can be spread in several ways, including through spam or a so-called drive-by download that exploits a browser vulnerability when a user visits a malicious Web site.
Once run, the Trojan freezes the computer, displaying a message saying files are being deleted every 30 minutes. It then gives instructions on how to send US$10.99 via Western Union to free the computer.
Hitting the control, alt and delete keys will not affect the bug, the virus writer warns. Sophos provides further details at this Web site.
The virus writer even offers tech support, Cluley said. If the method of unlocking the computer doesn't work after the money is sent, the virus writer promises to research the problem and includes an e-mail address.
Last month, a Trojan emerged that encrypts a user's documents and then leaves a file demanding $300 in exchange for the password to access the information. Victims were instructed to send money to one of 99 accounts run by e-gold Ltd., a company that runs a money transfer site.
*By: Jeremy Kirk
Friday, April 28, 2006
The American version of the potato chip was invented by a housewife named Laura Scudder.
Potato chips were invented in Saratoga Springs in 1853 by chef George Crum. He was trying to annoy a customer who complained that his French fries were too thick. Crum’s chips were called Saratoga chips. Scudder invented the wax bag keeping chips fresh.
(New York City)(by The Associated Press) Rosie O'Donnell is expected to make a surprise return to daytime television by taking over exiting Meredith Vieira's slot on the talk show The View.
O'Donnell's appointment was reported Thursday by the newsmagazine Extra. It was confirmed by a person close to the show who spoke on condition of anonymity because The View wanted to make the announcement on Friday's show.
ABC officials declined comment on the report Thursday.
Dubbed The Queen of Nice when her syndicated talk show went on the air in 1996 and became an instant hit, O'Donnell won six Daytime Emmy Awards in six years as best talk-show host. She left the show to help raise four children with her partner, Kelli Carpenter O'Donnell.
It's an important appointment for The View, which was created by Barbara Walters. Vieira's news background helped make her the solid centre of the program on the days Walters didn't appear on air.
But Vieira joined the game of musical anchor chairs that began when Katie Couric chose to move to the CBS Evening News. NBC quickly named Vieira as her replacement on the Today show, where she will begin work in September.
Joy Behar and Star Jones Reynolds, who have been bickering at each other lately, are also members of The View roundtable, along with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. They're nominated together in the best talk-show host category at Friday's Daytime Emmy Awards.
"I think every agent in America is calling," Walters said shortly after Vieira's departure was announced April 6.
O'Donnell has acted in a variety of movie, TV and stage shows, including the films A League of Their Own and Sleepless in Seattle and Grease on Broadway.
She should have no problem holding her own with the other ladies on The View. Since leaving daytime television, O'Donnell has become a strong advocate of gay and lesbian marriage and adoption. With her partner, she operates a cruise line for gay and lesbian families that was recently featured in an HBO movie.
WASHINGTON, DC—With his administration dogged by criminal allegations, President Bush called a special Cabinet meeting Tuesday to ensure that his staff's complex web of alibis is consistent at every level, an anonymous source reported. "Okay, team, let's make sure we're all on the same completely fabricated page here," Bush reportedly said while aides distributed thick binders containing the administration's latest official side of things. "The e-mail server crashed during Katrina, the dog chewed up our files on the Plame leak, and no one ever told me that the illegal wiretapping was illegal. Right, boys?" Added Bush: "Remember, we're all really on a picnic at Camp David right now." Bush has held 17 Cabinet meetings to get the story straight since 2001, surpassing the previous record, held by the Reagan administration.
George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic churches there than casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to process these offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks.
Didn't see it comin' did ya?
Thursday, April 27, 2006
The Cobb salad was named after baseball Hall-of-Famer Ty Cobb, but when he tried it for the first time, he refused to finish it.
In 1926, when a Los Angeles restaurant owner with the all-American name of Bob Cobb was looking for a way to use up leftovers, he threw together some avocado, celery, tomato, chives, watercress, hard-boiled eggs, chicken, bacon, and Roquefort cheese and named it after himself.
1. Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
3. Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
4. God, I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.
5. Dear God, how did you know you were God? Who told you?
6. Dear God, is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?
7. Dear God, I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
8. Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too.
9. Dear God, my Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
10. Dear God, Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does?
11. Dear God, did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?
12. Dear God, in bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
13. Dear God, how come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now?
14. Dear God, please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.
15. Dear God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother.
16. Dear God, I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget.
17. Dear God, my brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say?
18. Dear God, If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
19. Dear God, is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?
20. Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God.
21. Dear God, it is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon?
22. Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really !!!!
And, saving the best for last...
23. Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased....
she did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid, watched girlie movies, never had football on, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up your ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked good in sweat pants and shirt, and burped, swore, & farted all the time.